


It Takes Two to Compromise

by iceprinceloki



Series: The Decent Moments [11]
Category: Vampire Chronicles - Anne Rice
Genre: Childhood, Confusion, David loves him, Emotional Hurt, Emotionally Repressed, Heartache, Heartbreak, Help, It's Hard and Nobody Understands, Lestat feels inadequate, Love, Love Triangles, M/M, Memories, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Therapy, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:07:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22663726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iceprinceloki/pseuds/iceprinceloki
Summary: Lestat grapples with himself and his relationships. He deals with the idea that he may be the one at fault for his failure with Louis. He gets some guidance and although it hurts he knows it's true.
Relationships: Lestat de Lioncourt/David Talbot, Lestat de Lioncourt/Louis de Pointe du Lac
Series: The Decent Moments [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1593007
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	It Takes Two to Compromise

**Author's Note:**

> Set during Come Play With Us

It wasn’t the same city without the raven haired beauty. Lestat kicked a stone off the curb into the road, hands buried deep in his pockets as he stalked around the city. He’d walked alone here before of course, Louis rarely walked with him; but just knowing Louis wasn’t in the city made it feel entirely too empty and lonely. David was waiting for him at home but he couldn’t bring himself to return to his lover.

Lestat just wanted to be alone. He was tired of being left in the dark and being kicked down at every turn. He had walked passed the same building half a dozen times before stopping outside the door. He stared at the door bell nervously; he hated feeling nervous, it was just a mortals office after all. Mortals were nothing to fear. He took a breath and rang the bell, forcing himself to stay still and not run away. He was no coward and he was perfectly well within his rights to be here.

A man with light brown hair, and hazel eyes opened the door, he smiled at Lestat and welcomed him inside.

‘Hello there please come in, you must be Lestat, I’m Doctor Ellis. How are you?’ His voice was soft and fluid.

Lestat stepped into the reception room. ‘Very well that you, and yourself?’

‘No complaints.’ The man led him into a room, the walls were a light blue, there were flowers on the corner of the desk, a painting of a sunset over the ocean. ‘What can I do for you? You mentioned on the phone that you’re having relationship problems.’

Lestat nodded reluctantly, wondering if this was a good idea. ‘Something like that.’

‘How do you mean?’

How patient and kind this man was to him, as a total stranger. So innocent and open minded, a good man.

‘It’s not a relationship problem with someone else per say, it’s more a relationship problem with myself that affecting my relationships with others.’ That was a hard one to squeeze out. It wasn’t nice to admit to personal failures but he was proud he’d done it anyway.

The therapist smiled at him reassuringly, trying to put him at ease. ‘I’m here to listen, don’t hold back, I won’t judge you; this is a safe space.’

Lestat sighed and started to explain to whole story of his relationship with Louis and the huge fight they had which ended the relationship.

‘He never wanted to be intimate, he would never kiss me, I always had to initiate. He’d pull away if I tried to take him to bed, he would find an excuse to not go. Then he started disappearing for hours every night, and I thought he was seeing someone else. I accused him of cheating on me and told him what I thought about him; that he was a coward, a prude and an unsatisfactory partner. I told him we may as well be friends because he clearly didn’t want to be anything more.’

‘What did he say in response?’

‘He said he wasn’t trying to push me away, he was sorry, he said he wasn’t cheating on me but he couldn’t tell me where he was going. That just cemented the idea in my mind and I told him it was over between us. He could remain in our flat but it wasn’t working out. I think I really hurt him, I liked seeing him hurt, I hoped he would start to fight to keep the relationship. I hoped he would cross that room and kiss me and tell me he loved me and that he would try to trust me more.’ Lestat was hunched in his seat, he swallowed hard around the emotions that sought to come to the surface.

The therapist was staring at him thoughtfully. ‘Did it occur to you that you did not trust him? That to get trust you must give it? I can see this has had a profound effect on you and I would like you to try and see from his point of view. Is there any explanation he offered for why he was reluctant to further your relationship?’

Lestat shook his head with a scowl. ‘No. He was just a prude. Catholic upbringing. He hadn’t been with a man before, I doubt he’d even been with women.’ Lestat scoffed derisively. ‘I don’t want to talk about this anymore tonight I want to move on to the present.’

‘If he was a virgin don’t you think you should have been more patient? Especially given his upbringing? If he was highly religious it would be hard to step around that and let himself try new things.’

‘That shouldn’t be an issue!’ Lestat insisted. ‘He said he loved me, he should have shown it. We’ve known each other for years; he should have trusted me with that. Can we please move on?’

The doctor gestured for him to go ahead. Lestat thought of what to say next.

‘I brought an old flame into our flat shortly after our fight. David and I had a love hate relationship but in recent years it’s been more love than hate. David often initiated intimacy with me, and if I started something he wouldn’t refuse me. I love David and I appreciate him as my lover. He never holds anything out of my reach, he gives me everything I want and need from a partner; where Louis was just someone I loved and pined for. Louis withheld a lot from me, and it hurt…’

He swiped at the stray tear with his black handkerchief before the doctor could see it. This was getting hard to talk about but he needed to hear something comforting, something to justify his actions.

‘Did you bring David in to make Louis feel bad?’

Lestat frowned at Doctor Ellis and shook his head. ‘Yes and no, I wanted Louis to see how good things could have been between us if he’d only trusted me, but I do love David and I did want him around.’

‘Physical intimacy is very important to you…can you tell me why?’

Silence. Lestat had no answer, he couldn’t think of anything.

‘Have you ever thought that maybe you express yourself through actions better than words? It seems to me that you do, and that you expect others to do the same….how often did Louis tell you how he felt about you?’

Lestat had to answer begrudgingly. ‘Every night he told me he loved me and he was glad we were together again…’

‘Did that not satisfy you? Did you not believe him?’

This was getting annoying, Lestat didn’t like that this man was taking Louis’ side.

‘You’re supposed to be on my side.’ He said belligerently.

Doctor Ellis raised an eyebrow and held a hand up, placating Lestat. ‘I am supposed to make you think in the right directions so that you can improve yourself. I don’t take sides, I’m trying to show you that you don’t express yourself to the ones you love in a verbal way, you show love through physical affection and you don’t perceive words the same way you perceive physical proof of love. You need physical proof of love, verbal proof doesn’t calm you or make you feel grounded. I am guessing you weren’t shown much physical affection in your youth?’

Lestat scoffed, trying to cover up that the man had hit a nerve. ‘That’s rubbish, I’ve seen those stupid parenting articles. It’s stuff and nonsense.’

‘I take that as a yes.’ Doctor Ellis continued smoothly. ‘Lestat it takes two to make a relationship work. You cannot expect a partner like Louis, who is verbal and open about his feelings, to adopt your way of communicating just because you cannot understand his way. If you were distressed by the lack of intimacy you should have said so.’

‘I did say so!’ Lestat yelled angrily, not impressed by the mortal calling him out.

‘I mean in a calm, neutral environment.’ The doctor didn’t seem phased by his outburst. ‘You needed to sit down and talk it out properly, not shouting at him during fights or in the moment when you were refused. Bedroom conversations should happen outside of the bedroom, it makes the environment safer and less tense.’

‘It doesn’t matter now.’ Lestat groused. ‘Louis left me for two other men, he’s in New York and very happy without me.’

‘How do you know he is happy?’

‘A mutual friend told me he’s been having sex with them.’ Lestat swiped at his face again to cover the streak of red that slid over his cheek.

Doctor Ellis was quiet for a moment and then spoke in a kind and comforting voice. ‘That upset you, you don’t like that he chose someone else to be intimate with that first time. Did that make you feel like Louis hadn’t been attracted to you? Did you feel there was something off putting about yourself?’

Lestat stood up and stomped to the door. ‘I don’t want to talk about this anymore.’

He stormed out of the office and resumed his stalking around the empty streets. He meandered home where David was waiting. David was reading on the couch and looked up when Lestat came in.

‘Are you alright Lestat?’ The cultured voice, always calming him.

Lestat didn’t answer he took a few large strides to David and collapsed in his lap, arms tight around David’s neck. David dropped his book and wrapped his arms around Lestat’s waist.

‘Hey…it’s alright, what’s the matter my heart?’

Lestat didn’t reply, just breathed a shaky sigh against David’s shoulder and squeezed him tighter.


End file.
